Firstly, Happy New Year – 2022!
New Year often begins with a lot of chatter about ‘making resolutions’ – have you made yours?
In recent years, I haven’t, as there feels like a negative connotation associated with them (they always sound cup half empty to me) so let’s CAN that idea & go for thinking possibilities instead (more half full – more my cup of tea for sure) and sounds far more POSITIVE!
I wonder what might shift YOU this year. Looking after yourself, putting your oxygen mask on first, so you are in a much better position to support others. Small ‘epic’ steps rather than setting ourselves HUGE unrealistic targets.
I wonder if these thoughts have already gone through your head…
– If I could just get myself to the gym twice a week, then I could get that spare tyre off from around my midriff. I will feel better, more toned & I can change my body (smaller bottom, less chunky thighs…you get my gist)
– If I could get through dry January and give myself a break from a glass of wine or two, then I will minimise my next day hangovers, tiredness & fatigue
– If I could just kickstart my diet for a couple of weeks, then I will be able to fit into my skinny jeans againand feel comfortable going out for dinner with my partner
– If I loose that stone, then I will be happy (again) and life returns to ‘normal’ (on repeat…)
– If I make more effort with my family, kids (f you have them) & relationship – then I will feel more sociable & happier
Lots of if’s here – have you noticed?
These kinds of resolutions usually come from a place of self-criticism, comparison & a disappointment for who & how we are. If we sit with the shoulds, coulds, musts, have tos, we keep ourselves in a state of blame, judgement & shame. This keeps us stuck and quite frankly how does this make us feel better about ourselves!?We bully ourselves to change from a place of fear. How is that a way to treat ourselves?
Swap self-judgement & blame for self-compassion. Listening to our inner coach rather than the critical voice (or chimp on my shoulder, as I like to refer to him and yes you can give him or her – the ‘bully’ a name) is a far kinder space to be in, to help us move forward & feel comfortable with ourselves.
So, are you ready for 2022?
Self-care is the name of the game – A pocket of time for you. Small lifestyle ‘epic’ changes that can make a big difference.
– Be mindful – with food (enjoy what you are eating & savour each mouthful), get outside or time with a pet is very therapeutic
– Meditate – try Calm, Insight Timer or the Headspace app
– Gratitude – jot down 3 things you are grateful for every day.
– Movement – go for a walk, do some yoga, stretches, or an on-line class (you don’t have to go to a gym)
– Nature – get out in the fresh air for some downtime with your pooch, a friend or combine both!
– Nourish your body – nutrition (no ‘quick fix’ diets here – sends your body into denial 7 we know what happens then.) to help manage & sustain your energy levels
– Journal – get your thoughts down on paper – clear your mind – right down any worries & come back to them at then end of the day to afford them some ‘contained’ time to see if they still hold the same power later on
– Give your day some structure – get to bed earlier, get up at the same time & to bed too. Sleep & rest aremedicine.
– Tune into those negative thoughts. Beat the bully & swap for affirmations instead “I am good enough”, “I nourish my body”, “I love myself”, “I can do this” – you get my drift.
– Boundaries – Yes, it’s OK to say NO, stop pleasing others and put yourself first, so you are able to give your best to others. “I am now longer available to…….” is a great phrase to have in your boundary toolkit.
Or you can try therapy, to better understand where these thoughts, judgements, blame & criticism come from. Take a look at what has happened in the past for you to be in this “way of thinking & feeling”. Allow yourself to heal in 2022. Get in touch with me: https://clarity-kent.co.uk/get-in-touch/
